Once upon a time, my father, my sister and I were adopted by a cat.
This pleased me to no end, since I am far more a cat person than a dog
person. Still, having always had dogs while growing up, I was not
used to an animal that knew where to go to the bathroom, and didn't
know what to do with the remains when it was done. I therefore sent
the following question to my more vetrinarily knowledgeable friends
inquiring what to do:
Okay, so the cat, being much smarter than its canine petmates, knows where
it's supposed to go to the bathroom, and does. When the time comes to
dispose of its endeavours, what does one do with them? Does one:
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Bury it in the neighbor's yard
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Wrap it up and give it to Stanley for his birthday
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Knit sweaters and lap rugs with it, hoping for a spot on Crook and
Chase and, subsequently, Talk Soup
-
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Put in in your Land Rover in case you ever need to patch a cracked
engine in Botswana
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Secretly replace the expensive coffee at a world-renowned
restaurant with it
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Slip it in your boss's desk and call him "Kitty-man" behind his
back
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Use it to practice for the next olympic "shot"put trials
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Toss it at an electric fan and see what happens
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Save it for the next A Capella competition and use it to
"disqualify" groups.
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Keep it in a candy dish in the living room to discourage visits
from neighborhood children
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Send it to Johnny Cash with a letter saying his name was on the
bag, so you figure it's his
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Cheap holloween treats
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Take pictures and build a web site dedicated to it
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Carefully stack each one, and then call Guinness claiming you have
the world's tallest stack
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Call the *other* Guinness and tell them you know what their secret
ingredient is
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Make it into jewelry for hard-core punk rockers
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Sort by coloration and sell as sets of "checkers for cat lovers"
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Fill the bathtub with it and charge yuppies $50 a pop to lie in it
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Throw it up in the air, take a picture, and claim it's a photo of
the Heaven's gate spaceship
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Let the San Jose Sharks use it as a practice puck
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Fill a backpack with it and leave it near the garbage cans in the
park
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Recycled cat toys
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Post a note on the internet claiming to be blonde co-ed and
offering to mail it to lonely guys for only $19.99 (plus tax)
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Take it to the cemetary and leave it instead of flowers for people
you don't like
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Personalized paperweights as office christmas gifts
Or...?